FOR THE LOVE OF LAWYERS

BRYCE ON LIFE

- What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

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Of all of the professions out there, I think being an attorney has to be one of the most awkward. People tend to either love them or hate them, but most seem to regard them as a necessary evil. Lawyers are well aware of this which often causes awkward social situations for them. Consequently, they are somewhat cliquish and socialize amongst themselves. Whenever lawyers and judges get together, they have to be careful what they say as it might be used against them or they might need a political favor sometime down the road. Being "on-guard" 24/7 can cause anyone to become uptight.

Some people hold attorneys in high regard as some sort of lofty intellectuals. As for me, I see them more as the original Systems Analysts who are knowledgeable about the legal system and know how to traverse it. Nothing more, nothing less.

If an attorney is proficient in his or her profession, the next logical progression is to either become a judge or politician (as they are the ones who typically write legislation). I tend to believe such politicians spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about verbiage and chalking up political brownie points than getting anything done, but I digress. The point is, lawyers are naturally inclined to become political. They can't help it, it's in their DNA.

Actually, most attorneys aren't bad people and, believe it or not, possess a good sense of humor. So why do so many people hate them? Actually, I think there are certain types of lawyers that malign the profession, namely "ambulance chasers" (personal injury) and divorce lawyers. I think this is where the adjectives "frivolous" and "ruthless" were derived from, but it is this small group of attorneys that give the profession a black eye and probably caused Shakespeare to call for all of them to be killed.

Whenever I tell a lawyer joke to my attorney friends, they politely chuckle but I can tell it gnaws on them. Nonetheless, they say nothing. As tasteless as the joke may be, they never utter a word in defense of their profession as it might offend someone. Again, they have to be on guard 24/7, but it kind of makes me wonder what kind of jokes lawyers tell when they are amongst themselves, probably Doctor related.

As a note, for a comprehensive listing of attorney jokes, see Lawyer-Jokes.us on the Internet which seems to have all of the classics, such as:

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

A: One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

First published: September 15, 2008

Keep the Faith!

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Tim Bryce is an author, freelance writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 40 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb1557@gmail.com

For Tim's columns, see:   timbryce.com

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