TALKING TO YOURSELF

BRYCE ON AGING

– What it says about you.

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NOTE: The following is an excerpt from my book, “Tim’s Senior Moments,” a great gift idea for parents this holiday season.

I have noticed as I get older I have developed a habit of talking to myself. Other friends of mine have commented they have done likewise. It would be rather cheeky to say it is the most intelligent conversation of the day, but this is not what I’m getting at.

With me, I think it began years ago while driving around town. Because of all of the northerners who visit the Sunshine State, Florida has some of the most eclectic driving habits around. Evidently, how they teach driving in the Midwest is noticeably different than how they teach it in the East or Canada. This is very frustrating to the natives, such as myself, who often lose patience with other drivers and let loose with a salty tongue of expletives voicing their displeasure.

Naturally, as we get older, we are not as nimble as we once were and might suffer from basic body aches caused by arthritis or whatever the ailment du jour is. Consequently, we are susceptible to bashing ourselves into walls, stubbing toes, and bruising ourselves in the process. When we hit the deck in the morning, we feel our bones and muscles pop into place. None of this is beneficial to our demeanor and we start the day as a bit of a curmudgeon.

We also find simple tasks are no longer simple. For example, I used to be able to change a car battery in just a few short minutes, but thanks to today’s engineering and safety standards, it has become a complicated procedure, like performing a frontal lobotomy that now takes a couple of hours to perform and causes your patience to wear thin. Technology was supposed to simplify our lives, but I find it only complicates it.

With this in mind, we find ourselves becoming impatient with inanimate objects. To illustrate, I have a Kia with man-eating car doors. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to get the door to stay open as I enter or exit the vehicle. I think the Koreans have trained it to intentionally rip my legs off. Naturally, I become irritated with it, and begin to argue with it, e.g.; “Will you just stay put?” I demand. Of course, it pretends to not hear me and continues to ride my leg.

When I am dressing or undressing, I might reprimand an article of clothing or shoe for not fitting or buttoning properly, e.g.; “Will you just get off of me?”

As you work in the kitchen to cook a new recipe you read in a magazine, you try to follow the directions carefully but somehow it doesn’t turn out the way you had imagined, e.g.; “Why, this tastes like s***!” Naturally, you see yourself as the victim and not the cause of the snafu.

At night, a body ache of some form, such as a muscle or joint, might throb thereby preventing sleep. I admonish them as if they were my kids when they were little, “Will you knock it off and go to sleep!”

The interesting part of arguing with an inanimate object is that you never win. It may be nice to vent your frustration, but such talk says more about ourselves than anything else. When you curse an inanimate object, you are actually cursing yourself. The object is not a thinking entity, you are, and the fact you are quarreling with it means you no longer know how to deal with it anymore.

Now, about this stupid computer…

Keep the Faith!

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Tim Bryce is an author, freelance writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 40 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb1557@gmail.com

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Copyright © 2020 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

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